Fix Command Denied to user on MySQL Functions (solved)

I was having trouble getting a function I built a long time ago on a different IP address to work this morning. I keep trying to execute a function called digits which simply strips out all characters that aren’t digits. It’s good for mashing down phone numbers and dates if you have “dirty data”. I was getting the following error.

execute command denied to user ‘user’@’x.x.x.x’ for routine ‘SimpleSignups.digits’

I’m connecting directly to the remote server out on the internet with NaviCat for Linux but same thing was happening when I was connecting via the MySQL CLI client.

I tried granting all on the database to my current user name & IP address but was still getting the error. Finally via NaviCat I opened the function to see if there was anything in there and found this right at the top. The IP address was from a location that I haven’t been at in 6 years!


I changed to my current IP address, reran the query and it worked this time.

I have root privileges to this database so keep this in mind. Privileges may vary.

Quickly create a ROOT privileged user in MySQL 8

MySQL 8 no longer creates users on grants. So you must first create the user then grant them access to individual databases. It’s now a 3 step process! Note the grants below are WAY too much for a production server.

The first line creates the user in the MySQL users table, the second line grants this user privileges on ALL databases on this server, and the 3rd line allows the user to login remotely using a normal password.

TLDR (just do this);

CREATE USER 'jschmoe'@'%' IDENTIFIED BY 'Password1'; 
GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES ON *.* TO 'jschmoe'@'%'; 
ALTER USER 'jschmoe'@'localhost' IDENTIFIED WITH mysql_native_password BY 'Password1';

Twitch… The New Pandemic Television of Our Future

Quick… name one thing that we have all been doing during lock down during this pandemic?  Did you say binge watching TV?  Now is more options than ever Netflix, Disney+, Amazon, Hulu and the variety of second-tier players, HBO Max, Peacock Tv, Paramount+ PlutoTV are all vying for our eyeballs. Here’s the problem… production on many of the television shows that we’ve come to love has come to a standstill. Stay at home orders, mask orders, social distancing orders make it pretty darn hard to produce a television show let alone do much of anything else. New content is not being created. Oh you can go back over older shows and re-watch ones that you haven’t seen in a while. Personally I’ve been trying to get through Star trek the Next Generation which I didn’t watch back when it originally came out some 30 years ago. So what is a TV viewer to do?

This is where Twitch comes in. This one was new to me. Prepandmic I might have heard of it only as a place to watch gamers game. Snore. Now it’s so much more. For those unacquainted with Twitch it is a platform, owned by Amazon, that gives anyone with the right hardware and software the ability to live stream from their computer. As mentioned, the vast majority of the millions of streamers that are currently on Twitch are streaming game content, but there are more and more quality streams of music and talk show content.

One of the delightful things about Twitch that I have found or is the large variety of non-game related streams that are out there. There are some extremely high quality streams being produced by amateurs across the world. Musicians like the Fantastic Plastics. Billed as “a New New Wave / CyberPunk / SciFi Rock band. They write and record original music and tour nationally. Their music is composed of infused analog synths, gritty guitar riffs, and dance beats. More info at“. The pandemic closed venues across the country and forced live touring acts such as the Fantastic Plastics off the touring road and into live streamed concerts. The Plastics’ have successfully transitioned to an energetic streaming band and from what they have said online they will never tour again. And why should they? No pay to play, no long hauls to wait several hours to play for 20 mins and more long waits to get paid only then to get little to cover gas food & lodging. Now without ever leaving the confines of their pandemic bunker they can play every Friday night on Twitch.

Taking the brand further than just a band the Fantastic Plastics have spun up a television show in the vein of Space Ghost Coast to Coast that airs every Wednesday night. Like most talk shows they have guests both live and animated as well as oddball banter. They have really put time & effort into the talk show as well as their live show. The animated Chicken Burger Disco shorts between segments alone would be worth watching for. Tune in to the Fantastic Plastics at The Plastics also make an effort to keep the stream at a rating of PG. They’re also the only stream which I haven’t heard the F bomb in the 1st 5 mins after tuning in. (looking at you Lisa Bad Cat)

Another Twitch gem is the Harry horror Show. Which features true crime paranoia paranormal and conspiracy theories. Harry, the host of the show, does an incredible amount of background research into the topics that he presents. He broadcasts live four days a week and some topics are spread over two or three nights. Typically one week of the night will be dedicated to smaller topics that don’t warrant a whole show and some which are just to weird for a whole show. Show run times are typically three and a half hours and Harry is able to keep lively. Check out the Harry Horror Show at Please note that this stream may not be suitable for all audiences therefore VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Another stream of original content that I have found is a stream called Virtual Japan. This stream is a great relaxation stream. There’s no host only chill music in the background while someone walks around various spots in Japan with a 4K camera taking amazing video. Everything is very tranquil and peaceful. The best shows in my opinion are at night where he’s walking around large shopping districts or restaurant and bar districts. Chill out with Virtual Japan at

Finally my pick for great streams to watch on Twitch is the Old Timey Computer Show. This is a curated stream of old retro video tapes and files on computers, video games and other great historical pieces of technology.

Featured shows on this stream are the Computer Chronicles, Game Masters from the UK, and lots of Japanese promotional videos from Sega, Nintendo and other big game houses.

The best Superbowl ad is no Superbowl ad… Or how Budweiser stole the show.. again

Budweiser ad from early 60’s

Every year on Superbowl Sunday I get excited not for the game but for the advertisements. For years it’s been the thing that I look forward to. Weeks ahead of time you will already hear industry insiders talking about who’s going to be doing what or what to expect from so and so and how much this company is going to spend over what they spent last year. I never literally everybody can play Monday morning quarterback about the ads the day after the Superbowl and say which ones they think were the best which ones were the most expensive which ones were the most entertaining which were the most funny etc etc. But this year I already know who has won the Superbowl advertising Superbowl and that’s Budweiser.

The lead-up for the last two weeks has been nothing but… “Have you seen what Budweiser ISN’T doing?” This has been such big news that it’s jumped the fairly short fence between ad media news and founds it’s way into NPR and other mainstream news outlets. So to answer what they’re doing… yes.. yes, they’re doing nothing. Yet here they’re the most talked about NON advertiser doing NOTHING during the Superbowl. So without spending any money whatsoever without coming up with any new creative Budweiser has effectively put themselves into the top position again. Advertising by Not Advertising. And it’s a brilliant move! Who else is advertising this year? Honestly I couldn’t tell you.

The Old Timey Computer Show nuked from Twitch?

As of this morning 11:30am est it looks like one of my favorite channels on Twitch has been removed. The Old Timey Computer Show was a 24/7 channel that showed old broadcast computer shows from around the world including The Computer Chronicles, Bits and tons of old video game promotion videos. Searching on both my fire TV and my Android app I could not find the channel. Searching in Google using the channel name and Twitch as keywords I was able to find a link however upon clicking the link I got a Twitch error message saying “Sorry that page is in another castle.”

What I was greeted with on twitch after finding a link to the channel in Duck Duck Go

A little more googling and I found it what is going on… and a whole lot more. It looks like Twitch has temporarily suspended due to a content issue that Twitch “deemed unsuitable”. No mention of what program this was or what the content in question was but not a great leap to assume it was of adult nature.

Here is OTCS’ post on the matter.

I find The situation funny considering that every twitch channel I tune into drops the f-bomb within the first 30 seconds. That’s deemed okay. But hey private company… Private rules